Dollar Store Owner Ethically Torn Over Weekly Circular That Makes No Mention of Sales Tax

Riot Erupts at Local Donut Shop after Man Orders "Every Donut in the Store" ahead of Line of Hungry Customers

Strangers in Elevator Find Comfort with Silent Acknowledgement that Corporate America Has Robbed Their Souls for Past 30 Years

Olympic Hopeful Sets Sights on World Record for Largest Collection of Wheaties Boxes ahead of Summer Games

Cable Company Brass Proudly Tout New Cable Packages That Will Continue to Rip Off the Middle Class

Local Atheist Spotted Perusing King James Bible at Secondhand Bookstore

Cola Company Executives Scramble to Change Narrative as Secret Ingredient, Sugar, Leaked by Disgruntled Former Warehouse Manager

Motivational Speaker Misses Commencement Address after Hitting Snooze 9 Times

Wig Store Owner Capitalizes on Store's Proximity to Barbershop's Assigned Dumpster

Local Police Shut Down Indiana Corn Maze after Reports of Fatigue, Dizziness

Uber Driver Admits to Recycling Dropped Tic-Tacs for New Riders

Area Man's GPS Crashes en Route to Store to Return GPS

Outbreak of local hermits spotted in Northwestern United States, sources say, in light of rapidly vanishing notion of privacy. 

38 states pass reform legislation requiring high school graduates to demonstrate proficiency in holding, using a pen. 

Press conference ends abruptly when star athlete realizes they put out red, not yellow, sports drink for him after game.

After trans-Atlantic flight, local flight attendant finds solace and relief wrapped up in 800 thread count sheets that one day her soul-crushing job will be replaced by robots.  

Area man gazing out at natural beauty of Yellowstone National Park “just can’t get in the moment” because shirt won’t stay tucked in.

All-inclusive holiday concert plans come to a screeching halt when teachers take sides on decades-old debate about whether Groundhog Day is the most unsung holiday.

Local teacher lauded for giving stink eye to student in third row who only pretends to recite pledge of allegiance. 

Area man finds peace, spiritual guidance in car in Chick-fil-A parking lot across street from Western Second Presbyterian Church. 

Local cashier enraged over inability to continue meaningless texting drab with BFF due to annoying swath of customers. 

Area man glued to Candy Crush “Not Entirely Surprised” he left car wash soaking wet after forgetting to roll up window